I realized this afternoon, on my way home from the mall, that I truly have a problem. Compulsive shopping is in fact a problem. I can't stop myself. It's hard to explain. A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde reference should suffice. I get this overwhelming need to shop and then start thinking of all these things I just have to have. Then, im shopping and before I know it, I am sad and depressed thus starting the "retail therapy" shopping trip. It's a never ending cycle. When I shop, I literally have anxiety. That alone should make someone NOT want to do it, right? Well, I can spend an hour in one store going back and forth over one item. For instance, yesterday at Charlotte Russe, one of my favorite stores, they had this cute brown/navy blue pea coat on sale for $14.99. I looked at it, decided I wanted it, and walked around for a while. Then, I decided to put it back. I kept browsing and then decided I wanted the coat. So I picked it up again, walked around, set it back down. I repeated this process for a good 30 minutes.. over a coat. Then I started feeling overwhelmed and started talking myself into why I needed the coat and that it was a great deal and yada yada. So, at the end of the day, I left without the coat... annnd went back and got it an hour later.
My fiance' made a comment about hoping I wasn't this bad when we get married. SO, as I thought about it more, I realized I do have a problem and Shopaholics isn't just a movie. Do you know of anyone else who will get out of bed at midnight to make a run to Wal-Mart to buy nails to hang pictures they don't even have?? I don't either. Most people think that "oh you can just quit spending money." Just like any other addiction (although thankfully mine isn't as bad as drugs or alcohol) you can't just "quit". It's going to be hard but I am going to try my best. If I calculated correctly, I have spent roughly $1,200 in less than a month. Time for a change.
I did a little research and found that there is an actual center to Shopaholics/Compulsive Shopping.
Statistics Show:
- A recent study, published in the December, 2008 issue of the Journal of Consumer Research suggests that the number of compulsive shoppers/spenders may be closer to 8.9%, more than
25 million Americans. - 17 Million Americans are compulsive shoppers/spenders!
- 2006 Stanford University Landmark Study - Men and women compulsively shop/spend about equally
- 2006 Stanford Study - Arguments over money are the number one reason for relationship stress and break-ups (Psychology Today)
- The average credit card debt for a U.S. citizen is close to $10,000--mostly accumulated from unnecessary purchases (Time, Money magazines)
- Overshopping/Overspending is more than about poor budgetary or savings habits; many people need professional psychological help
- 2006 Stanford Study
We all shop for many reasons but the addict buys to relieve anxiety and over time the buying creates a dysfunctional lifestyle and more and more of their focus is on shopping and sometimes the cover-up too.
What causes it?
- Emotional deprivation in childhood
- Inability to tolerate negative feelings
- Need to fill an inner void
- Excitement seeking
- Approval seeking
- Perfectionism
- Genuinely impulsive and compulsive
- Need to gain control
Types of Behaviors:
- Compulsive shoppers – shop to distract feelings; “when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping”
- Trophy shoppers – find the perfect accessory for outfits, etc. High class items will do.
- Image shoppers – pick up tab, expensive cars, highly visible stuff
- Bargain shoppers – buy stuff they don’t need just because it is a good deal. Out for the hunt.
- Codependent shoppers – to gain love and approval
- Bulimic Shoppers—buy and return, buy and return (similar to actual bulimia)
- Collector Shoppers—have to have complete or many sets of objects or different colors of same style of clothing
Suggestions for change:
- Avoid people or places which tempt you to shop/spend
- Cut up plastic; close charge accounts; rip up credit card offers and home equity applications
- Make lists before going to the store; buy what you need only – call support people, take a trusted friend
- Wait a good period of time before you make an impulsive purchase
- Ask yourself: Do I need this or do I just want it?
- Develop better ways to manage difficult emotions
- Develop fun things to do to fill in your time better
- Seek out specialized counseling, medication, support groups, read books about compulsive shopping/spending
- Be aware of events that trigger urges to shop
- Cancel magazine subscriptions or e-mail subscriptions and block certain Internet shopping sites or TV shopping channels
If anyone else has the same issues as me, any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
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